This New Journey.

I am a mother.

It's still so surreal to me.

And boy, am I in love with this little guy.

Chase Journey Davis

<3

Bringing him into this world was exactly like his middle name; a journey.

40 plus hour of labor resulting with a c-section.

But brought such a beautiful baby boy.

All 8lbs 15oz of him.

It's been such a transition, being a mother.

I find myself becoming a mother with each new day.

If that makes any sense. I am a mother but I am also becoming one.

It's hard, sometimes draining,

But he is worth it all.

Tonight I am aching a bit.

I realize that I am now different than I have ever been before,

I don't think it's a bad thing though.

Well, deep inside I know it's not.

It's just a lot of change.

I feel more matured in some ways,

Yet so unsure of myself in others.

I'm trying to let this change come without being afraid.

I also don't want to become apathetic if I do need to cry because of this change.

Tonight I want to cry,

But can't.

I want to be myself but I am learning who that is now,

as a momma.

I'm sometimes worried about my relationship with Ted too.

I feel like I am distancing myself or that I've changed too much.

Especially physically.

Oh there is so much more inside that I can't express.

I am not depressed, really I am not.

I am just working through this change.

I am still the same old me, only this me is intermixed with being a momma.

Father, guide me as I walk blindly through these changes.