I am a bottler.

Bitterness.

I can't sleep tonight because of this lovely word.
I am wrapped in this very thing tonight.
Even the word itself is so awful, but this feeling is so much worse.

I am hurt.

I am frustrated.

I am bitter.

And I can't sleep because of it.

I am a bottler.
I bottle, bottle, bottle.
Then explode (usually in tears).

Healthy, huh?
Yeah...I'm working on that.

Part of why I am upset is because I witness injustices and I bottle them up.

Wanting them to be made right.

Yet they go unattended, ignored, avoided... never to be made right.

I have eyes and a heart for justice and I can't seem to grasp the mercy part.

Yet they go hand in hand (I've blogged about this before).

I guess it has just added up and I am weary of carrying this.

We are being wounded left and right and it seems like we aren't getting a break.

I've begun to see people for who they truly are.

Their true colours despite their facade.

I don't understand what exactly is going on.

People choosing the cause rather than relationship.

We live in a seriously fallen world.

And I also know that "hurting people hurt people".

But somehow that doesn't make this any better.

It also doesn't help that I am also easily offended and hurt.

Oh golly, I've got a long way to go.

This is me, "unbottling".

Trying to get this out and hopefully I will sleep better tonight.

I'm going to need the help of my Father on this one.

God, thank you so much for being so gracious and merciful.

I have a lot to learn from you!

It's pathetic the things I hold onto sometimes and even more pathetic that I lose much needed sleep to them.