To Write Love...

On Her Arms.

Today I write on mine to represent them.

This hits close to home for me.

It's on my heart now that I have freedom to see those hurting freed.

Today is a day dedicated to remembering those lost,

to pray for those who are struggling with depression

and to hopefully change a life.

Wearing it today to support a great cause. One of my favourite t-shirts to date.

From the TWLOHA facebook;

*****To Write Love On Her Arms Day is a day where anyone can write the words love on their arms, to support those who are fighting against depression and those who are trying to recovering. On this day, just write love on your arms, and show it off, other people will ask why you have love written on your arms, and you tell them you are supporting to write love on her arms day, and how its benefiting a non profit organization helping stop depression, and make love the movement ♥

Unfortunately, no one asked me why I had love written on my arm, and I did feel kind of silly doing so, but to me it was worth it just to see love written here all day and remember to keep praying for my loved ones that I know are dealing with this very thing. It's such a battle and I believe it can be won.

Thank you Jesus for healing us.

Please help others find freedom too.

Want to buy a shirt to support this cause? Click here.

The Tough Questions.

Today when I was writing one of my dearest friends an email,
I was reminded of what God spoke to me two years ago September when I was questioning him
with the "whys" and "where were you when..." and about hurts, etc.

He said,
"I trust you to trust in me."

It was so simple, yet it stuck.
I needed to hear Him speak.

And He spoke exactly what I needed to hear.

Initially, it wasn't what I wanted to hear and it wasn't easy to do.

Actually... it still is hard (hence, last nights blog)

It is hard, but today I'm reminded of this and giving it ALL to him.

Thank you Father, for allowing me to ask the tough questions and thank you, even more, for answering my cries with what I need to hear you speak, rather than what I want to hear! You are trustworthy. I know this.

I am a bottler.

Bitterness.

I can't sleep tonight because of this lovely word.
I am wrapped in this very thing tonight.
Even the word itself is so awful, but this feeling is so much worse.

I am hurt.

I am frustrated.

I am bitter.

And I can't sleep because of it.

I am a bottler.
I bottle, bottle, bottle.
Then explode (usually in tears).

Healthy, huh?
Yeah...I'm working on that.

Part of why I am upset is because I witness injustices and I bottle them up.

Wanting them to be made right.

Yet they go unattended, ignored, avoided... never to be made right.

I have eyes and a heart for justice and I can't seem to grasp the mercy part.

Yet they go hand in hand (I've blogged about this before).

I guess it has just added up and I am weary of carrying this.

We are being wounded left and right and it seems like we aren't getting a break.

I've begun to see people for who they truly are.

Their true colours despite their facade.

I don't understand what exactly is going on.

People choosing the cause rather than relationship.

We live in a seriously fallen world.

And I also know that "hurting people hurt people".

But somehow that doesn't make this any better.

It also doesn't help that I am also easily offended and hurt.

Oh golly, I've got a long way to go.

This is me, "unbottling".

Trying to get this out and hopefully I will sleep better tonight.

I'm going to need the help of my Father on this one.

God, thank you so much for being so gracious and merciful.

I have a lot to learn from you!

It's pathetic the things I hold onto sometimes and even more pathetic that I lose much needed sleep to them.

I'll take the food poisoning, please.

Yesterday I was extremely sick with food poisoning
But that isn't what aches the most.

My closest loved ones are hurting.
One possible more than ever before.
And the other is in utter confusion and despair.

I have been challenged to trust God despite the circumstances
But today I stand in frustration and confusion. Why is everything around us falling apart?

How could God bring my sister this far, only to take away the very thing needed the most?
Healing, positive people surrounding her, a time set apart with Him.

She too has such a hard time trusting God and then this?
I am at a loss of understanding.

I don't understand why people couldn't help her and those I know that could have but just didn't.

I wish I had what she needs to stay.
I wish I could have helped, even just a little bit.

I was thinking about what I could sell this weekend but it's too late.
The grace period is up...

God, it's hard to understand what you were thinking here.
And it makes me wonder, are really controlling this situation?
I mean, is this your doing?
I am realizing more and more how hard trusting is while living in this world of sin and selfishness.
Please, Father, guide her, love her, speak to her and if possible MAKE A WAY for her to stay!
All things are possible with you.

That is what I will cling to now.

An Insecure, Dissatisfied Jami,

Today I have really struggled with being insecure and dissatisfied with where we are in life.

I want, I want, I want;

• A place to call home, A place to settle in. Roots, A HOME of our own, with a backyard, A home for me to decorate, To eat healthy. Organic even! Gym passes for Ted and I, new clothes for Ted and I, a nice, reliable, new car,..... there is so much WANT in me right now!

I don't know what is going on. I feel like it's an attack.

I know that the wants and the desire for these things is stemming out of being dissatisfied with myself in other areas.

Ultimately, it boils down to feeling disgusted with myself for not trying hard to lose this baby weight, for the way I eat and what I am eating/drinking, I shouldn't have lost a pound.

I am frustrated with myself for not spending the time I do want and need with God, for not using my time wisely and doing the creative projects I desire to do.

I am dissatisfied today. Immensely so!! I feel like I am too far gone to do anything I really desire. I have always had desire to create, to live life to the fullest and to not waste my time and I feel like I am stuck.

The only thing I feel encouraged in today is the fact that Chase is secure in knowing he is loved. You can honestly just tell. He is such a truly happy and chill little guy. I spend a lot of time with Chase, talking with him, hanging out on the floor playing with him, singing, going for walks, getting out for the day, etc. It is the one area I feel like I am doing good in.

Ugh, please pray for me. I've been working on the fruits of the spirit and I am failing miserably.

suchprettyrain.blogspot.com

Let's Walk Then.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who areChrist’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

Galatians 5:16-23

I want to walk in the fruits of the spirit.

I mean r e a l l y WALK not just talk about it. I'm tired of the talking.

I want to grow in each and every one, as they go hand in hand! But there are a few of which stick out to me as extra difficult; longsuffering, self-control and kindness.

I spent the last few weeks taking things into my own hands. Handling situations on my own. And I am weary. I'm weary because I know there is a better way and I'm not walking in it.

I believe that if I really walk in who I am in Christ I will portray the fruits of the spirit. I also want to work on being more mercy oriented rather than justice oriented. It's super difficult for me, but I am tired of constantly trying to make justice happen even everyday battles which mercy needs to be shown.

It's difficult but doable. Especially when I recognize I'm not doing this in my own strength.

Amen for that.

suchprettyrain.blogspot.com

DIY Project: Dried Mixed Bouquet.

We received a lot of beautiful bouquets while we were in the hospital after Chase's birth. I didn't want them to go to waste so with the help of my mom(because I needed help with everything at that point), we recycled them. We dried the flowers for one week and they dried amazingly. I sorted through all of the bouquets we received to make one beautiful one.

I do know that sometimes dried flowers can look ugly or even cheesy as decor but check out how beautifully these dried. It is still vibrant in colour!

Combined into a beautiful, dried bouquet!

Simple, cheap & beautiful living room decor.

suchprettyrain.blogspot.com